I miss her

I miss her. I miss her hollering at me even though I did get aggrevated.
I miss her laughing at the dog .
I miss her aggrevating my daughter.
I miss her smell.
I miss her nightly "trips" home even at 2 am.
I never thought I would miss these things but I do.
I miss the way she used to watch the same tv shows over and over.
I miss sitting on the porch and listening to the birds.
I miss shopping EVERY Saturday at 3 different stores.
But most of all..I miss looking over to see her gazing at the angels at the end of her bed.
I know she is happy..I know she is well..but Im hurting and I miss her.

7-19-09

In honor of...

Those I've lost in the past years on this memorial day.
Dad
My Father in Law
My sister, Rita
My Grandparents on both sides
My step dad
many other loved ones family and friends.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
– Author unknown
God Bless

Sad day today

Today I had to give up and let Shawn and our friend ( Jason) take Punkin to the vet and be put to sleep. He had feline lukemia. He was soooooo sick and weak and pitiful. I just couldnt stand it no more. The vet told them he didnt even have a blood pressure.
He is now in ( Gran's) memory garden outside with Fathead , our rottie that died the day after Gran was buried. Im telling you, I cant take much more of this. Things have got to start looking up. HOPEFULLY, I will be going to work on Monday. I have got to find something to do..
Punkin is now lieing with Gran and she is loving on him.

Happy Birthday Gran!

first of all..We didnt have the heart to put Punkin ( kitty) to sleep today. I just couldnt so Gran will have to wait til a later date for him to come to Heaven. He does have feline lukemia. Shawn took him to his cousins house who lives close by and she is a vet assistant. She said we could spend 800 -1000 dollars trying to save him but it wont work. He is so little and pitiful. I think I will make Shawn take him..I just can't. Maybe Mom will go with him. We can put him in the memory garden ( One of Grans flower beds) with our rottie, Fathead, who passed the day after we buried Gran. I didnt go to the grave yard today. I was going to. I was going to take balloons out there for Grans bd but Mom said it was a mess due to the high winds we have had and all the Christmas deco from all the graves was everywhere. So I didnt go. I did see a beautiful pink sunset. I dont know if they have always been pink but seems I notice them ALOT more now that Gran has passed and they are always pink. They used to be more orange. hmm...............Job situation...I am ticked! I was supposed to start the training classes Monday..got the call today..the company hired in 25 ppl off the street so the temp I went thru only had 5 spots. I was in the top 8 so Im one of 3 alternates. IF someone DOESNT show up, then Im in...WHATEVER! I went thru that with the other company they put me at..well..I got a phone call today with another place..its called personal care choices. I will be sitting with people..handicapped or elderly so many hours a day..taking them to the Dr, cleaning their homes..running errands..ya know the drill. I have to work Saturdays which isnt bad now but will be when Autumn starts soccer since her games are on Saturdays...and one Sunday a month relieveing for a friend of mine that works there too plus Mon-Fri. They pay no overtime which is a bummer since I will be working at least 6 days a week. OR Shawn told me his cousin said she can get me on at a boat company for 10.00 an hour Mon-Fri..Im kinda torn..kinda...I really feel like I should work at the Caregivers job. I feel thats what I am supposed to do..Maybe that will help me heal too..Ill let you know..gosh this is long..sorry to ramble!