Christmas Eve

We always spent Christmas eve at Grans house eating dinner and opening gifts. Well, today I went to the grave yard and straightned up all the decorations and her trees. Her first born son is there as well as many other family members so I took care of his stone as well. It was odd..there telling Gran and Paw "Merry Christmas" and as the tears fell down my face, I looked up..the sky was PINK. Pink is Grans favorite color. I think she was telling me Merry Christmas back. I know I shouldnt be sad...I should be happy, glad she is not suffering, blah blah blah blah..( Ive heard it 100 times) but I cant help it..Im only human and dang it , it hurts ya know? I still miss her and no I wouldnt wish her back here for her to hurt but I would wish her back here so I could hold her hand one more time..hug her once more...kiss her once more..tell her I love her once more..and just cherish her for a few minutes. I knew it would be hard. Jan 2 will too. That was her birth day. Im off to make biscuits for Christmas breakfast tomorrow at MIL's house. Merry Christmas.