Welcome to our world of insantity.

Here you can read about the trials and tribulations of being a full time stay at home mom, wife and caregiver to my best friend in the world, my Grandmother. Gran has alzheimers, dementia, and parkinsons. Be sure to stop by often..you never know what kind of stories you will read here! Also check out my Stitching blog to see how I keep my insanity!


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Barely Flying By

I cant believe it is already the 21st. I sit here and look at the calander and curse myself because I told everyone Gran wouldnt be here for Thanksgiving. Maybe I shouldnt have said that. I thought I could handle this so much better than I am. I thought I knew what was coming..how bad I would hurt inside..that I had prepared myself for her dying and being without her. Nope...negative. I didnt have a clue ..not a clue as to how much my heart would ache ..how much I would miss her "hollering" at me at the time just to want nothing at all...God , I shouldnt have gotten to aggrevated when it was the 15th time in the last hour that she wanted me to come be by her ..just to see me....crap....I cant do this........

1 comment:

Natasha said...

Jen,
This is something I read at my Moms funeral. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.I was not prepared for her passing even though I knew it was near.
"So I am glad not that my loved one has gone,
But that the earth she laughed and lived on was my earth too.
That I had known and loved her,
And that my love I'd shown.
Tears over her departure?
Nay, a smile
That I had walked with her a little while."
You will never forget and there may be time you break down in tears but it does get easier.And as time goes by the tears will turn turn to laughter as you and loved ones recount all the wonderful memories you made with you'r Gran.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
(((HUGS)))